Do you have a set time to have a coffee and a chat with your inner pundits on your journey to success? Do you have a heart to heart every now and again? The more the better. Do you know the voice of each and every one? Do you understand why they are in there? We all have them, those little critters who pop up just when we have that flash of inspiration, that big idea or the urge to contact someone with that win win business idea.
Let me help you with this, just imagine you live in a large family, a family where everyone goes to work in the local bank 9-5 (Nothing against people who do this!) everyday, even the odd bit of overtime and get by from month to month. Your family love you very much and want the best for you. They have watched you take the falls, make mistakes and hugged you back to happiness when all looked bleak. Well, those inner pundits have done the same things for you, and more! You tell the family you are going to do something completely different to what they do. That you have been dreaming of becoming your own boss and you have a great ideas, a few great ideas even. Woah, before you know it your family come rushing in with all the reasons you shouldn’t do it, they remind you of the state of the economy, the money it will cost, the risks involved and the big question of why you want to be different.
Now, relate this to the role of your inner pundits and you can get a feel for just how much they love and want to protect you, from their perception of your world, from their memories of past events.
Think of the times you’ve heard in your head
- ‘Remember last time you tried that!’
- ‘Oh oh, we’ve been here before! Be careful!’
- ‘Woah, what will people think of you, you know how sensitive you are.’
So, what would you do with your family of bankers. From a human perspective there are many ways to go, completely ignore them, argue over it, get the hell out of there, make your goal to prove them wrong…even become convinced by them. Another option would be to sit with them and discuss your plans for becoming a success as lovingly as you could. You could reassure them that you are listening to what they have to say, that you understand they have your best interests at heart but that you wish to follow your dreams. You could tell them you would like their encouragement and support yet wish to embark on a new, exciting journey …you are planning on becoming a success.
So, how do you do that with your inner pundits? Firstly you have to get to know them, who are they? What is their role? How can they support you? Each and every inner pundit is there to support you by keeping you from harm and keep you safe. However, as I mentioned, from their perspective, the perspective from way within your comfort zone, not the inspired creative and courageous perspective of the true you, the ever expansive you!
Let’s meet a few of them
The Cautious Risk Assessor
This little nitpicker is a beauty, she will see the risks in everything, will remind you what happened last time you tried this or that. She will draw out the overly logical part of you to analyse every little thing, your mind will go into overdrive. This could lead to over thinking and constant planing then more planning, hindering inspired actions.
This critter is the skeptic (healthy skepticism is good but too much can cause difficulties), the part which throws doubt into any equation. She has a tough time trusting, even herself which is in plain terms a lack of faith. When moving forward with something new a certain amount of faith is required, yeah!
The What Will They Think Crew
Now this one is a class act when becoming overly protective. She stops you in your tracks just when you think you’ve got it, when you think you’ve got that great idea, she will shoot that question right at ya, ‘Who do you think you are?’ She will have you living safely to fit with the majority view, to dress as expected and not rock the boat. With this one, you will also receive help on appropriate behaviour and language at times which is a good thing but to have an over protecting crew here will have you becoming one of the sheep, covering your uniqueness and personal power.
Okay, so how can you develop a relationship with them?
One way is to set the intention to have a dialogue with them. This can be written or through silence. By creating silence you will find them dancing around below the surface with their words of wisdom. Even when writing to them, create the silent space then ask them questions. Many of the pundits will come up throughout the day. If you can jot down the thought they are sharing with you, it may be images or feelings but try to get them down on paper which will jog your memory later.
Questions such as
- ‘Can I talk to my inner doubter?’
- ‘What is it you want me to be careful of’
- ‘How could I build up more trust in this situation?’
- ‘Is there anything you would like me to know?’
You can then write down any answers you receive and respond, have a dialogue. Always set your intention to have an empowering dialogue, it may sound a bit ‘out there’ but we can learn so much about our inner family by getting to know them rather than ignoring them. Oh, and don’t forget the coffee, always make time for coffee and a good old chat on the road to success